Raising children in islam

a small excerpt from the book “Raising children in Islam” by Shaykh Abdur Razzaaq bin Abdul Muhsin al-Badr:

“O ye who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire whereof the fuel is men and stones, over which are set angels strong, severe, who resist not Allah in that which He commanded them, but do that which they are commanded.” [Sūrah at-Tahrīm 66:6]

“Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire,” this is an instruction that is mandatory for every Muslim—i.e., to protect himself and his family (which includes his wife, child and whoever is in his care and guardianship) from the Fire. From the descriptions of the Fire is that its“fuel is men and stones,” (and refuge is sought with Allāh) and over it “are set angels strong, severe, who resist not Allah in that which He commanded them, but do that which they are commanded.” [Sūrah at-Tahrīm 66:6]

With what will we protect ourselves from the Fire? With obedience to Allāh  by fulfilling His commands while being submissive to His legislation. ‘Alee Ibn Abee Tālib, the magnificent Companion (May Allaah be pleased with him), said concerning the meaning of, “Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire:”

أَدِّبُـوهُـمْ  وَ  عَـلِّـمُـوهُـمْ.

“Discipline and educate them.”

This is the meaning of warding off the Fire from them. And al-Hasan al-Basrī (May Allaah have mercy upon him) also said regarding the same verse:

مُـرُوهُـمْ  بِـالْـفَـرَائِـضِ  وَ  عَـلِّـمُـوهُـمُ  الْـخَـيْـرَ .

“Command them with the obligatory acts and teach them the good.”

Therefore, protecting one’s child from the Hell-fire is fulfilled with two important, magnificently tremendous matters that must be observed:Discipline and education, disciplining and teaching the child:

1. “Discipline them:” You cultivate them to have beautiful character, good traits, and praiseworthy etiquette and to preserve the commands of Allāh. Also, you cultivate them upon piety, truthfulness, keeping the ties of kinship, fulfilling promises and trusts and remaining distant from any dispraised manner like bawdiness, indecent speech, swearing, lying, mocking and ridiculing; you strive in an utmost manner to protect your child from all of this.

Education and Discipline are two matters that must be observed in order to protect them from the Fire. The people of knowledge say that you begin teaching the toddler about who Allāh  is when he starts to get older. Hence it is legislated that the first thing the toddler should be coached to say is: “Lā Ilāh Illā Allāh Muhammad Rasūl-ullāh” (There is no deity worthy of worship except Allāh [and] Muhammad is the Messenger of Allāh). So from infancy the child should be taught to say, “Lā Ilāh Illā Allāh Muhammad Rasūl-ullāh.” He should be accustomed to say this statement as soon as he begins to talk, it is to be said to him: “Say, ‘Lā Ilāh Illā Allāh,’” while pointing with his finger like this: singling out Allāh alone in His worship. So the child grows up from infancy while singling out Allāh alone in worship, he says: “Lā Ilāh Illā Allāh,” meaning, there is none that deserves to be worshiped in truth except Allāh: so he knows this from the time that he began talking.